My favorite piece of mail upon returning to Chicago was Mr. Friend's latest New Yorker submission.
I wish my thumb had a flame thrower. In fact, if I lost all of my fingers and had to replace them, I'd add in their place:
- a flamethrower thumb
- a giant foam finger for the Cubs games
- another middle finger (for scratching my forehead)
- a ring finger claw
- a pinky finger jet that shoots Easy Cheez (or DQ soft serve)
Bionic Pickle Hand! Swweeet!