Ahoy-hoy! I’m reporting in from the Golden Bucket casino here in Las Vegas. My assignment: Learn about Las Vegas showgirls’ New Years resolutions. I had Manny drop me off to meet with the ladies first thing. Krystalle, Chanelle, Shantelle, Montelle, and Dolly-Sue did not disappoint.
Here's a run-down of the resolutions for the girls:
Krystalle: Sexier hair extensions
Chantalle: Routines with more kicks
Shantelle: Not getting fake tanner on feathers or sparkly leotard (both difficult to dry clean)
Montelle: To meet Montel
Dolly-Sue: Learn something new everyday.
I was smitten with Dolly Sue after hearing her resolution. What an aspiration! What a lady! I decided that was my resolution too! To be a student of life…at least for 2007. I left the ladies energized and ready to go learn. But first, I had to check in and lose my luggage. And that, friends, is where it all went downhill.
Upon checking in, I noticed that there was a slot machine in my hotel room bathroom. I literally spent all week on the toilet with a bucket of quarters. Damn you, Double Diamonds!
My NEW New Year’s resolution: learn something new everyday and install video poker machine in my bathroom at home.
