Sometimes, my friend Hamburger Brown and I play this game called Point/Counterpoint. Today’s game went like this:
Topic - Vampire or Leprechaun?
HB: Easy Peasy Japanesy. It’s better to be a vampire. You get to fly around and wear a cape. Capes rule. And I think you live in a castle.
ME: Wrong-o! Vampires can’t go surfing or boogie boarding unless they do it at night. Leprechauns can boogie board - and they have pots of gold! And they eat Lucky Charms and slide down rainbows! Awesome!
HB: Rainbows? LAME! Vampires get to be friends with Wolfman and Swamp Thing and The Mummy. Leprechauns have no friends.
ME: Hamburger Brown, you ignorant slut. Those aren’t the vampire’s friends - they’re his mortal enemies. They’re all out competing to eat people.
HB: Vampires’ mortal enemies are garlic and holy water, numbnuts! Plus, vampires totally have it better with the ladies. Who wants to get it on with a short guy in a green tuxedo?
ME: I get plenty of action with my green tuxedo.
HB: Yeah….can I borrow that next weekend?
Victory - ME! Right???
