Drove myself down to Gary this morning. Lady Luck was on my side today; I found a smallish community of llamas about 20 minutes away from the Gary, IN Hampton Inn, which shall from here on out be referred to as Assignment Llama Provisional Apartment/Camp Accommodations (A.L.P.A.C.A.).
As I was saying, I found this group of llamas pretty close by. FYI – a group of llamas is technically called a “crapload” of llamas. Weird, right? This crapload was pretty small. Only 5 llamas here. First order of business was to name them. Considering we were in the Hoosier State, I gave them all Mellancamp-inspired names:
Jack – Alpha male. Light brown fur. Very smart and handsome.
Diane – Alpha female. Curly blond fur. Palpable sexual tension with Jack. This could get steamy!
Cherry Bomb – Beta female. Black fur, covered in mud and/or feces. Prone to being excluded by others.
Pink Houses - Weird older male. Gray fur. Wears a straw hat.
Cougar – Baby female. Whose baby is this? A mystery I want to get to the bottom of!
Once everyone was named and labeled with my label gun, I led us in a fun ice-breaker – Two Truths And A Lie! I went first:
- I’ve TiVoed Dancing With The Stars
- While I hope Jerry Rice wins, I think Lisa Rinna will probably win Dancing With The Stars
- I can wiggle my ears